First of all, all fear is 99% assumption based, in fact almost ALL worries in life would disappear if we just stop assuming things. I just don't allow my mind to assume a different truth behind the obvious. Like in relationships...I really love asking people which school they went to learn how to mind read others! They claim to know not only what's actually behind what others say, but even the tone behind the words of a sms! anyways, So now if I'm not allowed to mind read others, I'm also not allowed to mind read myself! I did not allow myself to assume something will go wrong. There was no evidence to support that assumption. Once the doctors said local anesthesia is safer except for the pain, I quickly made my peace with the pain, took the better option and looked forward to a mind blowing (literally) experience! Haha. How could I have any fear then? I was with the best doctors and was armed with objective information. I was making them sing songs while a hole was being drilled into my skull. Why worry until something DOES go wrong!
Yes I can't afford to take a sick leave. This off course throws a lot of lives, lives of people very dear to me, completely out of whack. But I cannot worry, that solves nothing. I have to focus on what can be! All I have to do is take a decision...I decide that I have the power to turn a curse into a boon, as I have done in the past. I will make up for this in the most wonderful way imaginable for all the people concerned.
I will off course be my most careful. (Laughs) do not worry. That I promise. But I will always be a slave (again a very careful one) to my vision. If I can dream it, I will make it happen. (In the most careful way again) is everyone happy? (Laughs)