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Award wapsi : Of Vidya Balan and Indian Cine Ratan



October 30, 2015 6:22:29 PM IST
By Vishal Verma, Glamsham Editorial
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Beep Beep (no it's not our dear CBFC – Censor Board of Film Certification spoiling the fun) door- bell of blockbuster film producer Mani Kapoor is ringing. Just about to bite the first bite of his fourth aloo paratha Mani Kapoor opens the door.

FILMMAKERS TO RETURN AWARDS AND VIDYA BALAN
FILMMAKERS TO RETURN AWARDS AND VIDYA BALAN

Clad in jeans, short kurta ‘star' reporter of filmy imli makes a probing entry. Gazing through the surroundings first the star reporter offers his greetings and an interesting conversation begins.

Star Reporter: hello ji, sirji how are you
 
‘Not fine, sad and angry' replies the producer by swallowing the unfinished paratha in his mouth as a person swallows his pride.

Star Reporter : What happened b-town queen Rimzhim refused to star in your next blockbuster

Producer Mani Kapoor : No yaar, am sad by the reports of this ongoing award wapsi thing, some saying YES and some saying NO.

Star Reporter: You are on which side

Producer Mani Kapoor: I am on my side

Star Reporter: kya matlab.. what does it means

Producer Mani Kapoor : it means a lot. Feels a lot. You won,t understand.

Star Reporter: I will try sirji please make me understand.

Producer Mani Kapoor : You people never understood my movies, the audience did.. how will you understand my ‘real' feelings.

Star Reporter : will ‘really' try my best to understand your real feelings, unfortunately I have found your movies to be a disaster in the name of art and cinema but will give my best shot.

Producer Mani Kapoor: Good. A person has to give his best shot whenever it demands.

Star Reporter : Sir please come to the point.

Producer Mani Kapoor : National awards should not be returned back.

Star Reporter : Ohh. So Vidya Balan, Anupam Kher, Madhur Bhandarkar are right and those renowned filmmakers like Anand Patwardhan, Dipankar Banerjee, Paresh Kamdar, Nishtha Jain, Kirti Nakhwa, Harshavardhan Kulkarni, Hari Nair, Rakesh Sharma, Indraneel Lahiri and Lipika Singh Darai are at the wrong end.

Producer Mani Kapoor: Madhur Bhandarkar is a misfit at present, he neither commercial, or arty. Vidya Balan, Anupam Kher may be right and the ten rebels you mentioned above may be great filmmakers and good Indian but I am better Indian.

Star Reporter : You are terribly unbelievable as your no brainers. From where does this love meter for our Bharat mata comes in this scenario.

Producer Mani Kapoor :  See this is the problem with your media community, you never get into the root of the matter and pass judgements.

Star Reporter : Now you are dragging media also into your weird imaginations.

Producer Mani Kapoor: Sir, its real not surreal. Maloom.

Star Reporter : Nahi maloom baba, will you finally explain your point

Producer Mani Kapoor: Of course, I will.

Star Reporter : Please and be quick

Producer Mani Kapoor: Sure. I am going to make a request asking the government to give me those award wapasi awards.

Star Reporter: WHAT.. you want those awards given for excellence in cinema redirected to you. What on earth makes you think so.

Producer Mani Kapoor: Vidya Balan has inspired me to do so.

Star Reporter: How so

Producer Mani Kapoor: Vidya Balan has said her National Award is an honour bestowed on her by the country and not the government. And as a citizen of this nation I have served more than those winners. I have made 20 blockbusters in 10 years, my movies have earned crores and the people of this nation got temporary relief from their pain and the Government earned good money in taxes. I have served the Country, the Government and the people of this nation. Give me the award and call it Indian Cine Ratan.

Star Reporter faints.


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