Oh My God would be an apt description of this film. OMG is the most-used phrase in this film, if you would want to call it that. And OMG is what you keep mouthing as scene after silly scene unfolds on screen.
Madhur Bhandarkar is obviously frustrated mid-way through his CALENDAR GIRLS. I believe he sees that the film is headed nowhere. So the director decides to come on screen for not one but two scenes, in the hope of salvaging it. If five semi-clad girls can't he surely has a hope in hell!
In the first scene he makes sure that the audience are told he is the one filmmaker who likes to address films close to reality. Of course, he does not mouth this dialogue but gives the honours of this task to one of his calendar girls, who is obsessed with selfies.
In another scene, he meets this same 'despo' and tells her that the heroine he is currently working with has just come back after plastic surgery and she is giving just one expression which makes it difficult for him to understand whether she is sad, happy or angry!
One look at the side profile Bhandarkar is giving the camera and you wonder what his expression is? His face looks well ironed out and creaseless!Also Check Out CALENDAR GIRLS Music Review
Bhandarkar should know a thing or two about plastic. The movie starts in a desperate attempt with the director using Adman Suhel Seth and Rohit Roy, both giving plastic expressions, to depict Vijay Mallya and photographer Atul Kasbekar. Seth is like this kid on the first day of his shoot; all excited and not knowing which direction to go. That the director himself is clueless does not help matters. He makes another brief appearance towards the end.
Roy on his part is totally lost as he tries to figure out the physical relationships the girls have had so far. He looks like an inept 18-year-old trying to get his hands into their pants!
That sums up the rest of the movie too.
Bhandarkar has been lost in his world. He is still in his PAGE 3 zone, going into that maze over and over again. To top it, he has made a desperate attempt to get into the 'frame'.
Move on Madhur, films like HEROINE and CALENDAR GIRLS don't work, not if you have no insight and intelligence to flesh it out.
Maybe you could do a movie called 'Director'.