IANS

Bollywood actor Sanjay Dutt said he was "nervous", "apprehensive" and prepared for the worst as a designated court prepares to pronounce verdict on charges of his possessing an AK-56 rifle and destroying it with the help of friends during the 1993 Mumbai bombings.

"I'm nervous, I'm apprehensive," Dutt revealed, adding that he was mentally prepared for the worst. "I'm going to bow my head and I will accept whatever the honourable court says," he said in an interview to Karan Thapar in CNN-IBN's "Devil's Advocate".

The Central Bureau of Investigation charged Dutt with possessing an AK-56 during the 1993 Mumbai blasts that was delivered to him by mobster Abu Salem, film producer Samir Hingora and another accused Baba Moosa Chavan.

The macho man of Bollywood maintains that he has faith in god and speaks about the calm and peace prayer has given him.

"I have always been very religious. I have a lovely small mandir (temple) in my house and I pray in the morning. There's nothing above god. He's the ultimate power. He decides what he wants to do with his children. You get a lot of peace and security when you pray. I'm always close to god. I do need him."

Dutt, who starred in the recent blockbuster "Lage Raho Munabhai", said that if the designated judge P.D. Kode - pronouncing verdicts in the case for the last month - acquits him, "I will start crying".

But on the other hand, if he is convicted, "I will face it. I have to".

"Whenever I'm in court, my eyes are always down because of respect. That's the way I'm going to be. How can you look at him (the judge) in the eye? You've got to have respect and that's what my parents have taught me... I'll just go and stand (in court) but I don't know how I will react at that moment ... I'm not going to be pretending or I'm not going to be preparing. I'll just react to whatever happens," he said.

If convicted, Dutt can get anything from five years' to life imprisonment under the Terrorist and Disruptive Activities (Prevention) Act.

The 47-year-old star who has always courted controversy - be it his addiction to drugs or his incarceration - was released on bail in October 1995 after spending 18 months in jail.

Pointing out that the judgment was constantly playing on his mind, Dutt maintained that he was unable to concentrate on work.

"I wish and pray everything goes well and I get my freedom. It's not easy to lead a normal life at this stage. I have not worked for the last three months. This is the most important situation in my life. You cannot concentrate on your work. You have to be focused on this. I have to prepare for a lot of things - in both ways."

Dutt says his greatest support were memories of his father and the knowledge that the late Sunil Dutt is with him in spirit and as he puts it, "he's looking over me".

"I do miss my dad. He was a power, a pillar of strength for all of us. I really, really miss him. I know he's out there and he's looking over me. Not only him, but also my mother, who was a pillar of strength for all of us. She was his backbone. They are there and they are looking over me...I'm leaning on my father. He matters most. I know he's there. I can feel him."

Judge Kode started giving his verdicts in one of the most widely anticipated trials in the country's history from September. The trial follows the 1993 bomb attacks in Mumbai that killed 257 people.

Those charged include mobster Dawood Ibrahim, believed to be in hiding in Pakistan. The bombings were believed to be in retaliation for riots that killed hundreds of Muslims.

The designated court, which reopened after Diwali vacation, has already decided the fate of 74 accused and would continue delivering the remaining verdict from Nov 2.

Judge Kode has so far convicted 55 accused for their complicity in the blasts conspiracy and acquitted another 19 due to lack of evidence. Among the convicted are four family members of prime absconding accused Tiger Memon. In all, 123 accused, including Dutt, face trial.