Sambha, Gabbar Singh and Thakur Baldev Singh are having a meeting in heaven. This is an SOS called by Rahim Chacha, who has a bigger frown on his face than when he was here, on earth. All are wondering on how to tackle this nuisance of Gabbar being back. “How can Gabbar be back, when he is here with us,” they all think aloud. Each going into a flashback mode, in typical Bollywood manner, before Chacha breaks the reverie
“How can they,” he murmurs. This was more a thought spoken aloud than a statement. He follows it up with a loud matter-of-fact gasp, “First that Ramu fellow throws muck on us with his AAG. Now Bhansali is producing tasteless cinema.” I mean Sanjay Leela Bhansali! I still can’t get over the fact that he produced GABBAR IS BACK.
Gabbar, quite until now, speaks up. He was fuming all along the publicity campaign, as was evident on the confusion on his face. At first, he thought he was getting a chance to go back to earth. But when he realised that this was not the case and there was going to be another actor trying to be him, he was livid.
“Time to call Ramesh Sippy and figure out what he is doing down there. The least he could do was file a suit,” he thunders, his menacing laugh now mellowed. “Remember, Salim Khan did the same with the people who re-made ZANJEER. What a mess of a movie that ZANJEER was.”
Connecting through an instant messenger service (by creating a group ‘Save SHOLAY’) they get through to Ramesh who expresses his helplessness explaining to the quartet that things are not the same as they were when they roamed Ramgarh.
“The Khans and this Akshay Kumar fellow now call the shots in Bollywood,” he tells them. “Creativity is a word hardly understood and mindless action with senseless scripts and dumb heroines seem to be the order of the day,” he furiously messages back.
Chacha nods in agreement. “I saw the slow demise before I could join you guys,” he tells the three. “Sippy is right.”
Thakur suddenly wakes up from his deep thought and asks, “Why couldn’t Jai and Veeru do something about it? Couldn’t Veeru take Basanti and threaten suicide before the release of the movie?”
Kaalia, who was invited by Ramesh Sippy on the group chat speaks up. “Imagine the insult I had to bear when this Gabbar bugger was being hanged. He laughed at me saying, ‘Tera Kya hoga kaalia?’
“Thank god they had no reference to me,” joins Sambha, who wants to know how many people were involved in this farce. “Bhansali cannot be the only fellow in creating this ‘masterpiece’.”
“Some A R Murugados guy from the south did the direction,” intervenes Chacha. “He is known to make re-makes, which have already been made and remade!”
Just then Sippy sends another message on chat. “Bhansali is planning ‘Thakur returns with Sambha’!”
There is complete silence as Thakur throws off his shawl in a rage, springs to his feet and goes in search of his nailed boots!
(Today’s column is in flashback mode)