Chrissy Teigen is expressing her grief nearly four weeks after suffering a pregnancy loss.
Earlier this month, the cookbook author and her husband John Legend lost their third child, Jack, who passed away after being delivered at just 20 weeks old.
In a heartfelt message posted to Medium.com on Tuesday, Teigen shared an in-depth public statement in which she revealed heartbreaking details about the tragic loss.
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I didn’t know how to come back to real life so I wrote this piece for Medium with hopes that I can somehow move on but as soon as I posted it, tears flew out because it felt so….final. I don’t want to ever not remember jack. . . Thank you to everyone who has been so kind. Thank you to the incredible doctors who tried so hard to make our third life a reality. Thank you to my friends and family and our entire household for taking care of me through all the adult diaper changes, bed rest and random hugs. Thank you John for being my best friend and love of my life. A lot of people think of the woman in times like this but I will never forget that john also suffered through these past months, while doing everything he could to take care of me. I am surrounded, in a human therapy blanket of love. I am grateful and healing and feel so incredibly lucky to witness such love.
This is her first public response since she and Legend announced the sad news about a month ago in a heart-wrenching social media post with several photos.
In the recent post, Chrissy Teigen opened up about the loss and wrote that her doctors diagnosed her with a partial placental abruption.
“I had always had placenta problems,” she wrote. “I had to deliver Miles a month early because his stomach wasn’t getting enough food from my placenta. But this was my first abruption. We monitored it very closely, hoping for things to heal and stop.”
The 34-year-old model also described the time she spent at the hospital where she received bags of blood transfusions due to heavy bleeding and being placed on bed rest. She also revealed that after multiple blood transfusions, doctors concluded that the baby would not survive as there wasn’t enough fluid around it.
“After a couple of nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye,” she wrote. “He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either.”
“We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn’t done anything at all. Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning.”
In the new statement, Chrissy Teigen also admitted that she asked John Legend and her mom to take the photos “no matter how uncomfortable it was.” She said her husband was “very hesitant” to take the photos, but she wanted to document this time in their life.
“I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos,” Chrissy Teigen wrote.
“How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
She concluded by explaining that she decided to pen the essay “because I knew for me I needed to say something before I could move on from this and return back to life, so I truly thank you for allowing me to do so.”