HUMOUR: RAEES 100 crore, Big B to SRK: Aaj Kush toh..

February 1, 2017 5:59:55 PM IST
By Vishal Verma, Glamsham Editorial
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Its wee hours of RAEES success party, As King Khan Shah Rukh Khan is about to spread his arms in his trademark style to hug his love of life his phone bell rings. SRK answers the call to find the world famous voice in his trademark deep baritone making this statement on the other side “Aaj Kush Toh Bahut hoge tum' (today you must be very happy) and a conversation begins


(surprised, shocked and stunned) Amitji Aaap!!!

Amitji: Ha mein, suna hai RAEES ne 100 crore kar liye hai (yeah its me, I hear RAEES has entered 100 crores)

SRK: yes sir, RAEES is the first film in 2017 to mark 100 cr at BO! RAEES has collected 109.01 cr from India in seven days and overseas (6 days) USD 9.2 million with some screens and territories yet to report. RAEES worldwide has grossed 215.17 cr (India gross 152.61 + Overseas gross is 62.56 cr (6 days). RAEES has made the following records

Highest ever weekend in January
- Highest ever collection on Republic day
- Highest ever day with two or more releases
- Highest ever weekend with two or more releases

Amitji: Why are you reading this media reported figures circulated by your company to me

SRK: Sorry sir, this promotion exercise has turned so monotonous that I forget where I am, in an event, at home, bathroom or speaking to an icon like you. Sincere apologies sir.

Amitji: let it be. Let's come to the point

SRK: Ha ji

Amitji: I heard you have celebrated success early and the figures are getting debated by a section of the market

SRK: Aree, sir, its jealousy you know. People who don't like me spread this rumours. Sir, whatever figure you take RAEES has collected more than my previous disaster FAN and its figures are better than KAABIL. Toh Party toh banti hai na sir (doesn't it calls for a party).

Amitji: By that logic your pathetic RA.ONE should have had a huge celebration and Aamir should celebrate at least thrice for DANGAL. It won't be a surprise if you people start partying for movie getting censored or release. Anything can happen if you can have break up announcements and songs happening in reality and in reels then anything can be celebrated and made into a news/event.

SRK: Sir, why are you getting upset. Pls come would be a pleasure to dance on 'khaike paan banaras wala' with you, party is still on.

Amitji: Not possible now, if you have given a formal invitation earlier then I could have managed. You idolize me, want to be like me, copy my deep baritone but don't call me when you achieve success.

SRK: Sir, pls don't misunderstand, nobody can be like you, you are the DON, SHAHENSHAH of all.

Amitji: Come on, people say you always want to reach those heights and did DON to prove your supremacy but you were pathetic in that kahike pan banaras wala song and its another main reason I refused your offer to party just now.

SRK: Sir are you angry with this.

Amitji: No am not angry with you dear, am concerned, why you want to do those things and be under some ones shadow. You have your own personality stick to it. Look at Hrithik he starred in the remake of AGNEEPATH but he never tried to get into my shoes and stood on its own. In RAEES you copied my baritone even had one of my scenes in KALA PATHAR in the background and look at me, I also used Mr. Bachchan in KAABIL but it turned out to be a tribute not a copy.

SRK : Wait a minute, I also used Mr. Bachchan in KAABIL.. who are you, kaun hai re tu.

The caller : ha ha.. got you.. Shah

SRK: duggu (pet name of Hrithik) tu (Duggu its you)

Hrithik : Yeah it's me bro.. having fun after eating our screens and giving us only 40%.

SRK: Now please you and your people stop this 60% and 40 % cry that is happening since day one. We know where we really stand. Let's talk business and forget this forever. Let's make the sequel of KARAN ARJUN together, and the movie will be directed by Karan Johar and his Dharma productions will be the distributor. Kyuki ‘meri maa kehti thi dhande se bada koi ‘dharam' nahi hota'. But before that tell me was that really you on phone, my goodness you were superb yaar.

Hrithik: Yes, In a scene from KAABIL, I had mimicked in Mr. Bachchan's voice.

SRK: Really, you have gone that KAABIL, I didn't know that. Will watch KAABIL

Hrithik: I also liked that maa ne bola tha' thing I heard it's from your film RAEES

SRK: yes dude

Hrithik: I will watch RAEES, ‘ab toh kush hoge tum'

SRK: Yes and you

Hrithik: yes 40 % khush not RAEES but KAABIL enough

SRK shaking his head in displeasure: abbey yaar (what man)

(you don't have to be an Einstein to know that the above write up is a figment of imagination of the author)


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